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I also learned that you can do both—you can be open to love without pinning all your happiness on finding a partner. It’s not “I must work, work, work to find a partner and keep myself in emotional limbo until I get there,” nor is it “I must forget the whole thing and satisfy myself with my dogs and my book club.” It’s possible to enjoy your solo lifekeep your eyes open for someone nice.It’s possible to look for that special person without letting that search define you.As you well understand, life is unpredictable and full of surprises. But we can commit every day to building lives that are as rich and meaningful as possible, with or without a partner.We can remain open to exciting possibilities for the future while also appreciating all that we have in the present.I could try and push those feelings of longing down, but they’d invariably pop back up again. I accepted that it was there, allowed myself to feel it, and tried not to worry about it too much.That turned out to be easier than trying to push the feelings away.
Who would want me if they knew I struggled to get up in the mornings?
So instead of seeing it as a disadvantage in terms of sheer numbers, think of it as an advantage in terms of identifying the enlightened souls who know that there is more to a person than the way she walks, and that there are more important things than the ability to wear cute shoes or hike down a beach.
Since you won’t be wasting time on the people who see past the arm canes, you’ll have more time and energy to focus on your healing and rebuilding your post-accident life.
Question 2: Is it foolish to be realistic, look at the odds, try and make a happy life for myself, but assume that romance is out for me? The dating market can be brutal and people can have crazy demands.
But the good news is, those people probably won’t be contacting you.